Please Dont Leave Me
by sarah hope
Summary: Inspired by song, A time turning Sirione in which time is the only thing that has any possible chance of keeping their love apart and even that might fail. Story is better than it sounds
1. Chapter 1

Now that the war was over Grimmauld Place was being turned into a boarding house of sorts for the trio and the various visitors that always seemed to be trickling through. During the war housekeeping wasn't exactly a priority and as a result the house was in disrepair. Molly, assuming her usual role, had taken it upon herself to give out the various cleaning assignments. Originally Ron was given the living room along with her because that parental supervision the only was he'd actually get anything done. Hermione was given the library because seeing as she was going to be spending the most time in it it only made sense that she be the one to organize it. She'd given Harry Sirius' room, in the end, thinking he'd enjoy all of the treasures to be found especially considering much of his consisted of photos of their school days and marauder memorabilia.

The plan backfired, however, as Harry emerged after merely 5 minutes and begged Hermione to let him do the library claiming that she'd enjoy the library more later on if she remembered it as a pristine aid and not a filthy hindrance on her quest for knowledge. He was quite obviously uncomfortable so she all too happily obliged. Harry didn't question it simply because he was so relieved he hadn't had to disclose his real reason for not wanting to be in there. He felt weak, but the memories of everything hurt too much to face. He knew that Hermione would be able to take it, not only because she was so strong but also because she'd have less of an emotional attachment to the things she'd find, little did he know….


	2. Chapter 2

a/n- i forgot to do this on the first chapter so i guess i'll do it here. This story will get better as it goes. I only updated such a crappy chapter (the first one) so that i would actually finally post this story. I've been working on it in my head since forever.

disclaimer- i dont own harry potter. i am not jk rowling.

Hermione climbed the stairs to _his_ room with much hesitation. He was dead and wouldn't be coming back to claim his things or chastise her for snooping but still she felt like she was being intrusive. In truth, the reason she didn't go running to her next assignment was that she didn't know how she'd react to revisiting images of the dead man. She and he had always had a strange connection that left both uneasy and honestly unable to interact as normal people ought to. It was only after his death that she realized that the feelings that she had weren't ones of loathing but were instead love. A love that was so far from understandable that she quickly suppressed and ignored it. A deeper love than any she'd ever felt but one that was so hard to explain that she couldn't even explain it to herself she could only equate it to the one person that she'd ever truly loved and how confusing that had been as well.

Pushing those thoughts aside she focused on her orders from Mrs. Weasley. She needed to go through every drawer, every box in the closet, and every case under the bed and keep any photos or seemingly important keepsakes that Harry might later want. She was warned repeatedly that she might find some "risqué" things in his nightstand and in some of the boxes underneath his bed that probably housed keepsakes from old flings and to keep in mind that they probably wouldn't exactly be appropriate. Really it was as though Mrs. Weasley thought she was 4 years old and still giggled at the mention of certain body parts. She was a full grown witch and would be more than capable of handling the stray handcuff or two. Honestly.

Hermione had continued walking as she thought and found herself at the door quicker than she'd meant to. Out of habit she raised her hand to knock and then mentally chastised herself remembering that he still was not there and sadly never would be again. She'd realized some time ago that she never really accepted his death mostly because she'd never really accepted the reality of him.

There'd been a man that he'd reminded her so felt like she'd known him for years and in a way, she had. She'd been dreaming of this man since she was very young. She never told anyone of him and he never visited her except in her dreams but his reassuring smile got her through more than one hard time. As she got older she just assumed that he was a figment of her imagination that she'd created subconsciously to fill the void that most people save for real friends. She decided that he needed to become unimportant during the summer of her second year because otherwise she would be inadvertently dooming herself to be a cat lady forever. Along with the realization came a sadness as she mourned the loss of her longtime companion. She knew she'd miss his loud barking laughter, the way his whole face lit up when he teased her. She'd miss the fact that, though they never touched in her dreams, she knew that if she ever found herself in his arms she'd feel better. She'd be comforted. She'd be loved. That was why it needed to end. She realized that she was slowing starting to love him and not in the way that she liked real guys, but more in the way that she knew real love was. If he'd ever become real she knew nothing would keep them apart. She looked into reincarnation and quite a few other things thinking that perhaps there was some explanation; thinking that maybe in a past life they'd been together. Anything. No one understood but that was why she was always in the library. There had to be an answer in among the books; somewhere. The answer never came and until she'd met Sirius Black she thought it never would.

It wasn't that Sirius Black was her dream man but he had such a likeness that she finally realized that there could be a man in real life who might measure up. Someone who'd be enough to make her feel the way that she felt with her longtime person. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't stay away from him. And for some reason it felt like she was a hindrance to him. Whenever they were together he made sure she was okay and taken care of but when they were apart it was as though her presence was toxic.

She started realizing she was still standing outside the door. She entered the room and tried to decide where to start.


End file.
